What is the best MASCARA????

I have tried DIORSHOW, BIG FATTY LASH BY URBAN DECAY, STILA, LANCOMME, CLINIQUE, ELIZABETH ARDEN, LOREAL, MAYBELLINE, COVERGIRL, RIMMEl, MAX FACTOR, and pretty much every other cheap mascara.... I need one that doesn't clump, is waterproof, thickens, lengthens, and also curls. I use an eyelash curler, but I still can't get my lashes as crazy as the ladies in the commercials! Also, price doesn't matter to me.... I have paid 20+ for Dior... as long as it works, i don't care how much it costs. Thanks